brb going to see morrissey.
You are showering but I need to pee. This sucks.
I have to leave the house right now. How could you have known?
Have a good night , I’ll see you later.
She’s like Mona Lisa when she’s intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she’s marvelous
21. just because you have bangs, doesn’t mean you can pick at your face-under your bangs.
22. Just because you exercise, doesn’t mean you can binge eat.
23. don’t be a stripper. It’s not cool
31. drink earl grey tea. it’s fancy and good.
48. it’s ‘BY ACCIDENT’, not ‘ON ACCIDENT’. proper example: “he hit her BY accident.”
3. it’s bad manners to drink out of a glass/cup/mug with a spoon in it.
4. wood does not absorb electricity. Unless we’re talking about a dudes wooden dick and the electricity of a woman’s vagina. in this case, wood will totally absorb electricity!
5. metal absorbs heat. If you leave your spoon in your tea/coffee/soup, it’ll get cooler.